The Business End

Who says what and when - a practical guide to ceremony formalities

Photo credit: @dansoderstromweddings

There are very few compulsory requirements to make a marriage legal under Australian law. If you’re wondering what’s legally required and what’s optional, this post should cover it.

Kicking things off

Everything that happens at the start of the ceremony - the welcome and introduction, acknowledgements, your celebrant telling your love story and any readings/reflections from friends and family - is entirely optional and customisable. I work with my couples to create an introduction to the ceremony that really reflects who they are. However, this post is more about the ‘formal’ ceremony components that happen at the back end- so let’s get into that.

In short, there are three legal ‘must haves’ and some optional extras

The Monitum - the first legal ‘must have’

The ‘monitum’ is compulsory wording that must be read by the celebrant during the ceremony in order for the marriage to be legal. (As an aside, the phrase ‘monitum’ comes from the Latin word for ‘warning’ - and when you read the wording, you’ll see why - it operates as a reminder of the nature of the relationship the couple is about to enter into). The monitum wording is as follows:

“I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law.

Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter.

Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of 2 people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.”

The Asking

The Asking is an optional component to add onto vows, and is essentially the part where you get to say ‘I do.’ In times past, you might have heard the couple promise to ‘love, honour and obey’ each other, but there are plenty of other verbs we can use in this section that don’t reflect historical concepts of obedience in marriage (which are pretty old school)! If couples are keen to include the Asking, I like the order and flow of the Asking + personal vows + legal vows. Here’s the wording I like to use for the Asking:

“Celebrant: [Partner 1], do you take [Partner 2] to be your [husband/wife/spouse]? Do you promise to support, encourage, respect and love him/her/them, from this day forward, forever?
Partner 1: (I do).
Celebrant: [Partner 2], do you take [Partner 1] to be your wife/husband/spouse? Do you promise to support, encourage, respect and love her/him/them from this day forward,
forever?
Partner 2: (I do)”

Personal vows

Personal vows are also an optional component of the ceremony. As to what you should include in your personal vows - really anything goes! But that’s a story for another day - I’ll cover the ins and outs of vows in another post.

Legal vows - the second legal ‘must have’

Australian marriage law provides that each member of a marrying couple must state the following legal vows before the marriage can be considered legal. I typically weave the ring exchange into the legal vows, but another option is to have a separate ring ceremony and wording. Here’s the legal vow wording (note that the last line about the ring is additional to the legal wording and not compulsory):

“I call on the people here present to witness
That I, [your full name]
Take you, [their full name]
To be my lawful wedded husband/wife/spouse

Please accept this ring, with all of my love”

Pronouncement

I pronounce you married and state ‘you may now kiss’! Of course, a kiss is not compulsory, but 100% of my couples so far have wanted to do this. I say, do whatever makes you happy!

Signing - the third legal ‘must have’

We take a short break to sign the certificates - two copies of the Official Marriage certificate and one copy of the ‘Form 15’ (or what I like to call, the ‘fancy’ certificate). It is an option to do the signing at another time before or during the Reception, but I honestly think that once you leave the ceremony you’ll likely be caught up in the party, so it’s best to sign your life away at the ceremony and then enjoy the rest of the evening without having to take another break to do the certificates.

Declaration and exit

After we’ve all signed, I declare you officially married and you exit the ceremony - the rest, as they say, is history!

THE END.